rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
