im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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