so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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