whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Randomize