Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
