New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
