i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
