Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
