I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
