So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
The power of my boobs compel you
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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