I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize