Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Randomize
