a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
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