Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
