Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
