Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
