some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
