just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize