She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
