u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
