You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
