It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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