I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
