I bet he comes in French.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
