Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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