We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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