that's an acceptable place to lick
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
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