My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
