he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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