i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
