I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
