I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
wanna go halves on a baby?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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