I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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