That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize