I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
