I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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