babies were throwing up all over the place
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
