Porn is love you can see.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Houston, we have a squirter
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
