I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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