At least make sure they are 18
Why
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
