God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
