So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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