we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize