I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
