Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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