I accidentally burped into my bong.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
