it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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