well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He passed out mid-signature
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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