I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
be right there i have to get my cape
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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