ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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