Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
