i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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