Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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