sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
