My girlfriend figured out who you are.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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