he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
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