just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
