Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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