I heard we made out
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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