Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
