please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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