is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
