normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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