So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
