i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
